Prostitute: See what you get for $10! =)ДЎ117. Mike: That's too much! How about $10? Prostitute: No way! Next day, the prostitute saw Mike with GMA. In New York, Mike Arroyo asked a prostitute. He asks, 'Do you have a vagina?' She says 'Yes!' Man says, 'Good! Then, please tell your husband to stop f*cking my wife!'ДЎ116. 'I will hide behind the door.' Next day, man comes and knocks. He does not go to work the next day and tells wife to say yes if he comes again. She slams the door in disgust that a stranger could ask such a thing. When she opens the door, a man asks if she has a vagina. Why I miss you? Why I care for you? Why I remember you? Why I text you? Then my heart answered, Mongoloids need more care! Hehehe. 'Dear sir, I would like to order 1 goose. 'I would like to order 2 geeses.' Mali rin yata. 'I would like to order 2 gooses.' Mali yata. Erap writing a request letter to order 2 geese. He did what Satan didn't know: Jesus saves.ДЎ113. Satan shouted: You cheated! Jesus just smiled. But Jesus started printing all his files. When electricity was back, Satan lost every single thing he had done. But before the time was up, lightning, thunder and rain, and brownout came! Satan cursed. They did every known job, reports, e-mails, attachments and downloads. Jesus and Satan competed on the computer. But what I promise you is that I'll be the one who will stay with you when all you see is an empty beer bottle and an empty cigarette case.ДЎ112. In life, you'll find someone who will puff smoke and drink with you till sun is up. I may not live long enough but I won't miss out letting you know that life is worth living with someone like you around.ДЎ111. But whatever our pain, whatever our struggle, one God is more than enough. One touch is enough to heal a wounded heart. So, if you need to laugh and you canвЂ™t find a friend like yourself, I can lend you my mirror.ДЎ109. Having a good laugh with a friend like you stimulates endorphins, the brainвЂ™s natural painkillers. My riches do not lie in material wealth, but in having friend like you - a precious gift from God.ДЎ108. Thank you for touching my life in ways you may never know. But no life is ever happy until it is lived for the glory of God.

No life ever grows great until it is focused, dedicated, and disciplined. A smile is the best lighting system of the face, the best cooling system of the head, and the best warming system of the heart.

Because when they're gone, no matter how loud you shout and cry, they won't hear you anymore.ДЎ105. Don't wait until it's too late to tell someone how much you love, how much you care. If we could decide who to love, then, life would be much simpler, but then less magical. It takes a stronger heart to continue to love after it has been hurt. Are you looking down upon me? Are you proud of who I am? I'm sorry for blaming you for everything I couldn't do. There's nothing I wouldn't do to have just one more chance to look into your eyes. It's hard to say goodbye when it comes to this. Sometimes, I want to call you, but I know you won't be there. There's nothing I wouldn't do to hear your voice again.

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